Too close for comfort

NEW VIRUS 
Just got this in from a reliable source. It seems there is a virus called the "Senile Virus" that even the most advanced programs of Norton and McAfee cannot take care of it; so be warned. The virus appears to affect those of us  born before 1960

Symptoms of the Senile Virus: 

1.  Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. 
2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail. 
3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person. 
4. Causes you to send e-mail back to the person who sent it to you. 
5. Causes you to forget to attach attachments. 
6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished the e-mail. 

       Remember?

I don't remember if I sent this one out. . . . 
I don't think I did . . . uh, . . or did you send it to me?

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded . . . 

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. 

Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered: 

 1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 

 2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran. 

 3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart. 

 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded. . . 

 5. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded. . . 

 6. All reports are in; life is now officially unfair. 

 7. If all is not lost, where is it? 

 8. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. 

 9. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded. . . 

10. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. 

11. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few. 

12. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 

13. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 

14. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded. . . 

15. It's hard to make a come-back when you haven't been anywhere. 

16. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom. 

17. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. 

18. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess? 

19. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded. . . 

20. It's not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere. 

21. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 

22. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after. 

23. I unable to remember if I have mailed this to you or not. 

"24. Funny, I don't remember being . . . uh, what's it called? Oh, yeah, . . . absent minded.

Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 8, maybe 10, oh, heck, just send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are. Then something is supposed to happen. . . I think. Maybe you get your memory back or something! I think. . .